To add to my list of song lyrics on my livejournal!

A words,just a word
'til you mean what you say
And love,isnt love
'til you give it away
We've all gotta give
Yeah,something to give
To make a change
Send it on
On and on
Just one hand can heal another
Be a part
Reach your heart
Just one spark starts a fire
With one little action the chain reaction
Will never stop
Make it strong
Shine a light and send it on
Just Smile
(Just Smile)
And the world
(And the world)
Will smile
along with you..
That small act of love
Thats meant for one
Will become two
If we take the chances..
The change circumstances
Imagine all we can do
Send it on
On and on
Just one hand can heal another
Be a part
Reach your heart
Just one spark starts a fire
With one little action the chain reaction
Will never stop
Make it strong
Shine a light and send it on
Send it on..
Theres power in all of the choices we make
So im starting now theres not a moment to wait
A word,just a word
'til you mean what you say
And love,isnt love
'til you give it away
Send it on
(Send it on)
On and on
(on and on)
Just one hand can heal another
Be a part
(be a part)
Reach your heart
Just one spark starts a fire
With one little action the chain reaction
We'll help it start
Make it strong
Shine a light and
Send it on
On and on
Just one hand can heal another
Be a part
Reach your heart
Just one spark starts a fire
With one little action the chain reaction
Will never stop
Make it strong
Shine a light and send it on
Shine a light and send it on..
Shine a light and send it on..


Send It On by the Disney Channel Stars

So as boring as the beginning of the summer was, things have definitely picked up in excitement.

First, I got a job.  I worked as a Teacher's Assistant for a grades 3-5 mixed bag ESY (extended school year) class for the summer school.  It was good cause I got to interact with autistic, mentally retarded, etc, kids which gave me experience.  It was a pain in the butt because they never wanted to do what they were told.

Then, on July 13, I got to go see JONAS BROTHERS, HONOR SOCIETY, and Jordin Sparks in concert at Verizon...That was pure amazement.  The concert was incredible and ever since I have wanted to go back and see them again.  Just listening to their CDs is not enough anymore.  I really really really really loved it and I need to see them live again!

This past weekend, I went up to New Jersey for my cousin Brian's 30th birthday.  That was a lot of fun considering I don't get to see my dad's side of the family often.  Even though about half of the family wasn't there, it was still a bunch of fun.  Talked with Pam, Kate, and others.  I wasn't sure i was going to go until that day and I am really glad I decided to go.  Dad and I spent the night at Aunt Nancy's along with Uncle Jim, Aunt Mar, Kate, and Abby.  The only down part was that we didnt get to stay for the second birthday party of the weekend.

Last night, I went with Mom, Matt, and Casey to go see NICKELBACK, Hinder, Papa Roach, and Saving Abel at Nissan.  It was great.  I had already seen Nickelback in concert before but this time was a lot different.  Chad Kroeger was hysterical.  He definitely interacted with the crowd and told a lot of jokes.  It was awesome.  I love them!

FInally, Saturday I am going to BETHANY BEACH with the family!!! That is always wonderful.  I love the beach!

When I get back from the beach, I am going to move my stuff down into my apartment since my lease starts on Saturday!!!

Now that it's all said and done,
I can't believe you were the one
To build me up and tear me down,
Like an old abandoned house.
What you said when you left
Just left me cold and out of breath.
I fell too far, was in way too deep.
Guess I let you get the best of me.

Well, I never saw it coming.
I should've started running
A long, long time ago.
And I never thought I'd doubt you,
I'm better off without you
More than you, more than you know.
I'm slowly getting closure.
I guess it's really over.
I'm finally getting better.
And now I'm picking up the pieces.
I'm spending all of these years
Putting my heart back together.
'Cause the day I thought I'd never get through,
I got over you.

You took a hammer to these walls,
Dragged the memories down the hall,
Packed your bags and walked away.
There was nothing I could say.
And when you slammed the front door shut,
A lot of others opened up,
So did my eyes so I could see
That you never were the best for me.

Well, I never saw it coming.
I should've started running
A long, long time ago.
And I never thought I'd doubt you,
I'm better off without you
More than you, more than you know.
I'm slowly getting closure.
I guess it's really over.
I'm finally getting better.
And now I'm picking up the pieces.
I'm spending all of these years
Putting my heart back together.
'Cause the day I thought I'd never get through,
I got over you.

Well, I never saw it coming.
I should've started running
A long, long time ago.
And I never thought I'd doubt you,
I'm better off without you
More than you, more than you know.

Well, I never saw it coming.
I should've started running
A long, long time ago.
And I never thought I'd doubt you,
I'm better off without you
More than you, more than you know.
I'm slowly getting closure.
I guess it's really over.
I'm finally getting better.
And now I'm picking up the pieces.
I'm spending all of these years
Putting my heart back together.
Well I'm putting my heart back together,
'Cause I got over you.
Well I got over you.
I got over you.
'Cause the day I thought I'd never get through,
I got over you.

So my life as of late has been for the most part boring.

My life consists of mainly schoolwork.  Being a math major is incredibly difficult and therefore requires mucho amounts of homework and out of class studying!

Other than math and education school work, my life consists of trying to read the Twilight saga (JASPER HALE IS LOVE...which should show you how much I love my friends since I am currently on the JASPER chapter in Eclipse and I am writing this instead of reading about my fictional love)...listening to the Jonas Brothers (yes I know JB is primarily a group that preteens and teens enjoy but I am allowed to listen to the music also and I have no qualms about me thinking Kevin Jonas is gorgeous because he is actually older than me)...hanging out with my WONDERFUL roommate Lauren (who i think is starting to get tired of me being a slob), the BEAUTIFUL Laura Jeanne Robbins (words can never explain how much I owe her and how I dont think I would be surviving college these past three years if it was not for her being here with me)...

The new things that I have experienced this year have not always been good...I unforunately have been doing more (illegal) things that I should be...such as drinking... Curse having friends who are older than 21 and therefore can get alcohol...  although i have learned that having a little bit to drink at times is okay as long as you do not get raging drunk/wasted to the point in which you black out because then you are not in control of your actions....(speaking from experience...i got really drunk (curse you Zac for making me the first three and then curse myself for not stopping and sneaking more) at Laura's place and blacked out and apparently imed Ally (i still have no idea what I was talking to ally that day about)...to Chris P, Shuji, and Billy sorry for my actions that night...especially Chris since you tried to get me to stop and I wouldnt..I wish I had listened to you...

I have strengthened friendships with some great friend sand unforunately, due to forces outside of my control, I have lost some "great" friends...B. Cheery you know who that "great" friend is and honestly while it makes me sad that she and I are not as good friends anymore I dont really miss it or her actions all that much.

Dude, I really should be studying for my quiz tomorrow or work on my paper..but instead I am going to quickly finish this and then get back to reading "Eclipse"

Won’t be so easy this time to hurt me
You can try and this time now baby there are no tears left here to cry
if you think you can woo me like before if you think you can do that anymore
won’t get too far no, you can’t break a broken heart
so try your best now baby try your best to break me
you can’t break a broken heart.

no damage you can do now i’m immune to you now
you cant break what broke apart
there’s nothing you can do to me no more
you can’t break a broken heart
hurt me before now wont hurt no more now not this time you might do better messing with someone else’s mind cause you’re not gonna break me down again
your done and through with me they way you did

Its gone to far
you can’t break a broken heart
so try you best now baby try your best to break me
you can’t break a broken heart
no damage you can do now im immune to you now
you can’ break what broke apart
there’s nothing you can do to me no more
you can’t break a broken heart
so don’t waste your time
your time has come and gone
what do you hear boy you can’t hurt me anymore
so try your best now baby try your best to break me
you can’t break a broken heart
no damage you can now im immune to you now
you can’t break what broke apart
there’’s nothing you can do to me no more
you cant break a broken heart
so try your best now baby try your best to break me
you can’t break a broken heart
no damage you can do now i’m immune to you now
you can’t break what you broke apart
there’s nothing you can do to me no more
you can’t break broken heart

So i have come to a miraculous turning point in my life..

I have decided that I am going to try to get over him...  I have been hung up on him/in love with him since 10th grade and he has hurt me for the last time...It has been hell dealing with the fact that he hasnt really spoken to me since I graduated....I let him break my heart into a thousand little pieces.  

As the lyrics above say, "no damage you can do now i'm immune to you" ..I might not be immune to him quite yet, but I am going to try my damndest to get over him so he cant hurt me anymore.   

Yes, it will hurt like hell to get over him...to not think about him, what we shared while in high school, what he might be doing at that moment.  I will have to train myself to not think that he is less than an hour away from me now....

I need to get over him if I am ever going to be able to have an intimate relationship with a guy... i want to be able to give my whole heart to a guy...and i cannot do that until I get over him

So this is my solemn vow that I will get over him



To him (who is going to remain nameless)

Goodbye to you...goodbye to everything i thought I knew... you were the one I loved the one thing that i tried to hold onto

But enough is enough...

it nearly killed me when you cut me out of your life after I graduated high school...we had plans...

i was going to head to JMU and you were supposed to join me here two years later after you graduated...
What happened in those two years between when I graduated and you graduated?   I have always heard and for a while believed that distance makes the heart grow fonder because I knew how i felt about you when you were away from me.   I missed you like hell.  I am tired of holding onto the thought of us one day being together and so i am letting go.  

I hope you have a great life and that you find a girl who loves you half much as i do because then that girl will love you with all of her heart.  There will be days when I want to forget about my quest to get over you and just go back to being comfortable loving you from afar.  But, when those days come, I will think about how much you have hurt me since. 

Just so you know, I have held onto (and carried in my wallet so it was with me everywhere i go) the movie ticket from the day that I met you since that fateful day in 2003, which I am sure is just a faint memory for you, but to me that was the day my whole world change.  I remember everything about that day.  

After I am done writing this letter to you, I will be going into my wallet and i will be taking that ticket out of my wallet.  I will not be throwing it away, I will just be putting it into a safe place with all of the other stuff that reminds me of you.

So, for the last (and first time since I never told you) i love you

Goodbye

this is the first day of the rest of my life.

As a tribute to Nick Jonas turning 16 today...and to add to my JoBro lyrics collection on my LJ ...today's lyrics are from "A Little Bit Longer"

Got the news today
Doctor said I had to stay
A little bit longer and I'll be fine

When I thought it all been done
When I thought it all been said
A little bit longer and I'll be fine

[chorus]
But you don't know what you got 'till it's gone
And you don't know what it's like to feel so low
And everytime you smile, you laugh, you glow
You don't even know, know, know
You don't even know

All this time goes by, still no reason why
A little bit longer and I'll be fine
Waitin' on a cure, but none of them are sure
A little bit longer and I'll be fine

[chorus]
But you don't know what you got 'till it's gone
And you don't know what it's like to feel so low
And everytime you smile, you laugh, you glow
You don't even know, know, know
You don't even know, know, know
You don't even know, know, know

......2,3......

[chorus]
But you don't know what you got 'till it's gone
And you don't know what it's like to feel so low, yeah
And everytime you smile, you laugh, you glow
You don't even know

Yeah! Oh! Yeah! Ohh! Yeah yeah!
You don't even know, oh!

So I'll wait 'till kingdom come
All the highs and lows are gone
A little bit longer and I'll be fine
I'll be fine

Broken hearts and last good byes
Restless nights but lullabies
Helps make this pain go away

I realized I let you down
Told you that I'd be around
I'm building up the strength just to say

[Chorus]
I'm Sorry
For Breaking all the promises,
That I wasn't around to keep
It's on me
This time is the last time,
I will Ever beg you to stay
But your all ready on your way

Filled with sorrow
Filled with pain
Knowing that I am to blame
For leaving your heart out in the rain
And I know you're gonna walk away
And leave me with the price to pay
Before you go I wanted to say
Yeah!
That I'm

[Chorus]
Sorry.
For breaking all the promises,
That I wasn't around to keep
It's on me
This time is the last time,
I will Ever beg you to stay
But you're already on your way

I can't make it, a life on my own
But If you have to go
Then please girl
Just leave me alone
Cause I don't wanna see
You and me going our separate ways!
I'm begging you to stay
If it isn't to late

[Chorus]
I'm Sorry
For breaking all the promises,
That I wasn’t around to keep
It's on me
This time is the last time,
I will Ever beg you to stay
But your already on your way

But your already on
Your Way

I've always been the kind of girl that hid my face,
So afraid to tell the world what I've got to say.
But I have this dream right inside of me.
I'm going to let it show.
It's time.
To let you know, to let you know.

[Chorus]
This is real, this is me.
I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be now.
I'm gonna let the light shine on me.
Now I found who I am.
There's no way to hold it in.
No more hiding who I wanna be.
This is me.

Do you know what it's like to feel so in the dark.
To dream about a life where you're the shining star.
Even though it seems like it's too far away.
I have to believe in myself.
It's the only way.

[Chorus]
This is real, this is me.
I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be now.
I'm gonna let the light shine on me.
Now I found who I am.
There's no way to hold it in.
No more hiding who I wanna be.
This is me.

You're the voice I hear inside my head.
The reason that I'm singing.
I need to find you, I gotta find you.
You're the missing piece I need.
The song inside of me.
I need to find you.

I gotta find you.

This is real, this is me.

I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be now.
I'm gonna let the light shine on me.
Now I found who I am.
There's no way to hold it in.
No more hiding who I wanna be.

This is me.

You're the missing piece I need.
The song inside of me.

This is me.
Yeah.

You're the voice I hear inside my head.
The reason that I'm singing.

And now I've found who I am.
There's no way to hold it in.
No more hiding who I wanna be.
This is me.

A wise man once said "Never let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game." 

I need to learn how to live by this phrase.

I let my fears stop me from hanging out with my friends.  Well not just my fears but also the knowledge that the storms that have been happening up here lately have been pretty bad.  It has ABSOLUTELY nothing to do with her driving skills...I trust her completely driving me anywhere and she should know that...I didnt want either of us out on the road if there was to be a storm pop up while we were on the road because my mom drove on the road the other day when a storm popped up and it was a mess... I didnt want either of us to get hurt... B CHEERY I completely trust you and your driving skills...

But I totally feel bad about not going...yes it thundered, and lightening-ed, and rained but it wasnt that bad and I was bored out of my mind....

I really need to stop letting the fear of striking out stop me from living my life.

So B. Cheery and Sarah, I am so very sorry for flaking out on you guys.  I hope that you guys can forgive me.

And also, I spent a lot of time today trying to figure out whether i was going to go or not.....the decision to not go was not an easy one.....In the end, I thought that I had made the "right" decision based on what the weather was supposed to be like.  But then again I dont know what the weather in Gainesville was like but if it was anything like it was in Woodbridge, I would have probably been okay to go....

The only thing that I liked about staying home tonight was having my mommy close when the storms came.  I love having my mom around when it is storming...

If I let my fears stop me from hanging out with my friends, what am I going to do when i get older?  Laura was right....What am I going to do when my kids want to go somewhere but it is storming???...just tell them that Mommy is too afraid of thunderstorms to go out and take them where they need to go?? and what about if they have a game/concert/etc...and it is storming... "Oh sorry honey...Mommy didnt want to leave the house because it was storming and you know how Mommy is..."  That is not how I want to be....

I really am trying to get over this fear and honestly I have gotten a better hold on it since I have gone to Governor's School/College....I no longer make myself pass out/ go into a trance when it storms.  The number of complete freak-outs with hysterical tears and nonsense have significantly decreased. 

"Don't let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game"

My goal is to live that motto.

  Well, I guess now is as good of a time as any for my bi annual update on my life....

Once again I had no roommate for spring semester which is great again...although i can not wait till next year when I will hopefully have 1 roommate all year!

That's about it

 Go Red Wings!

I am soo freaking bored.... I need to find a job and get a car and get out of this house...

I want to go down to Harrisonburg and visit my friends but I cant because I have no car, no money...

I have lost many things that I wish I still had.  Most of them are friends that I have fallen out of touch with...some are friends that have gotten tired of me and left....and then there's HS...who stopped considering me a friend because of something her roommate did....

SO what have I lost that I wish I still had.......all the friends that I have lost throughout the years

I am moving out to the middle of nowhere and becoming a hermit.

No one follow me!

popoli realmente la necessità di smettere di dirigerlo intorno. Non sono un bambino che debba avere controllo costante. Ho 19 anni e penso essere trattare come tali. Siete il mio amico, la non mia madre. Non mi preoccupo se la vostra sorella segue i vostri ordini, io non!

I am not including the translation for this top part because no one else really needs to know what it says as long as I know


Dalla notte che lo copre, nero come il pozzo dal palo al palo, ringrazio che cosa dii possono essere per la mia anima unconquerable. In è caduto la frizione della circostanza che non winced ad alta voce né che non gridato. Sotto i bludgeonings della probabilità la mia testa è sanguinante, ma unbowed. Oltre questo posto di wrath e telai delle rotture ma l'orrore della tonalità, ma la minaccia dei ritrovamenti di anni e troverà, me unafraid. Importa non come strait il cancello, come caricato delle punizioni il rotolo, sono il padrone del mio destino: Sono il capitano della mia anima.

which translates to

OUT of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.
In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.
Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.
It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

So according to Alex, I might have injured my LCL in my knee (fun stuff I know) I should probably go to the health center about it to make sure i didnt fuck my knee up...when im not so busy i will do that...

I CANNOT wait for today to be over!

Note to self: do not get involved in other people's fights....they just throw what you say to the one they are fighting